


love, it is a flower

by Dawn on ICE (Dawn_Blossom)



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Hanahaki Disease, Happy Ending, M/M, Not angsty, also the love does not have to be unrequited for the disease to occur, at worst the disease is like an mildly uncomfortable allergy, but if you haven't kissed in a while it might come back even if you've kissed before, the disease can be cured with a kiss from the object of your affections, this is critical: the disease is not fatal in this au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-10 23:17:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11701920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dawn_Blossom/pseuds/Dawn%20on%20ICE
Summary: “You know, some people say that untreated hanahaki disease will actually kill you,” Yuuri grumbles to Phichit over breakfast one day.“Lies to terrify children when they get their first crush,” Phichit replies cheerfully. “Nobody has ever died of hanahaki disease before.”





	love, it is a flower

**Author's Note:**

> Hi I'm Dawn and I can't handle angst, thanks.
> 
> But nevertheless I'm really enamored with the idea of flowers being formed out of romantic love. So I figured, hey, just change the rules so nobody dies. Hanahaki disease is just an inconvenience here, albeit a rather substantial one if you're like Yuuri and insist on hiding it.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy this, even though it's a little different from the kind of hanahaki aus most people are familiar with!

Yuuri has… _allergies._

Okay, that's a lie. These “allergies” are something that no medicine can soothe. No, Yuuri’s _real_ affliction—hanahaki disease, the physical manifestation of Yuuri’s romantic feelings—is much harder to manage than your average allergy.

It’s supposed to be cute. There are thousands of cheesy romantic comedies on the market about young couples coming together after discovering their feelings via the disease. And truthfully, it can sometimes be cute. It was certainly cute when Yuuko and Takeshi started hiccuping out each other’s flowers in high school. It hadn’t taken the two of them very long to kiss and stop the blooms, and next thing Yuuri knew they were getting married. _Maybe_ it was even a _little_ cute when Yuuri had, at the age of 12, seen Victor Nikiforov for the first time, had left his mouth hanging open in awe for so long that blue rose petals just started _falling_ out (at least, Yuuko had laughed and told him it was adorable…)

But it’s not very cute to have flowers for someone for over a decade, not when you know that they’re entirely out of your reach. Celebrity crushes are normal! They happen all the time! But for most people, they fade away after a while. Nobody really thinks they have a chance with their idol, do they? Yuuri doesn’t know why he’s like this!

“You know, some people say that untreated hanahaki disease will actually kill you,” Yuuri grumbles to Phichit over breakfast one day.

“Lies to terrify children when they get their first crush,” Phichit replies cheerfully. “Nobody has ever died of hanahaki disease before.”

“Maybe I’m the first,” Yuuri groans. He had watched Victor’s performance at the Cup of China the previous night. It was so beautiful that Yuuri cried a little. His tears had been rose-scented. Even Yuuri thinks this is going too far.

“You do have it pretty bad,” Phichit offers sympathetically. “Worse than any case I’ve ever had.”

He smiles softly, and Yuuri tries not to blush as he remembers the time Phichit had been coughing up golden nasturtiums for a month before he’d informed Yuuri that, actually, the blossoms were for him. 

(“I’m so sorry,” Yuuri had said, kissing Phichit just so that the flowers would go away. It really wasn’t fair; Yuuri _wishes_ he could be in love with Phichit. He’d hoped, for just a moment, that maybe he would feel something as they kissed, but… alas, the only thing Yuuri felt was the familiar sensation of rose petals coming out of his mouth. Phichit had said he’d understood, but Yuuri felt like he’d just given him a grave insult, anyway.)

“But hey, you qualified for the Final this year,” Phichit continues. “This is your chance to finally meet Victor and seduce him!”

“Phichit!” Yuuri screeches. “No no no no no, I’m not doing that! I… I just want to talk to him, that’s all…”

Maybe, if he can just meet Victor in person, talk to him for real, then he can finally get over his infatuation. Maybe, if he’s lucky, he might get to stand on the same podium. Maybe he can even… ask for a kiss…

No, that’s a stupid thought. What’s he supposed to say? “I’ve been in love with you for 10 years, please put me out of my misery”? It’s better if he just gets over it on his own. Victor has no reason to love him, and Yuuri… Yuuri doesn’t want to be a pity kiss. But it’s not like he’ll ever deserve anything more than a pity kiss, so Yuuri resolves to keep his mouth shut, literally.

It’s not like it matters in the end. The Grand Prix Final comes, and Yuuri crashes and burns like he’s always done in his nightmares.

“A commemorative photo?” Victor asks him. How he manages to smile so brightly at strangers is something Yuuri will never understand. “Sure!”

It’s really not fair. Even at a time like this, Yuuri still longs to say _something, anything_ to Victor. How hard would it be to just say “congratulations”? How hard would it be to say “thank you”? How hard would it be to _just say “yes”?_

But Yuuri can’t say a thing. His mouth fills with what must be at least ten flowers, It’s all he can do to choke them back, but he’d rather die than spill blue roses straight onto the shoes of Victor Nikiforov himself.

He turns away, walking outside the building as quickly as he can. He hopes he can find a trash can or something; otherwise, he’s going to have to eat the flowers. It’s not like it’s anything new, but Yuuri’s pretty sure it’s not good for his already aching stomach.

Ultimately, his time in Sochi comes to a pathetic end. He can’t even remember the final day of it. He drinks enough champagne at the banquet to forget the taste of disappointment and roses, and the next thing he can remember with any clarity is Celestino waking him up on a plane back to Detroit.

The next few months are hard for him. He fails so badly at Nationals that he doesn’t even qualify for Worlds, and Yuuri wonders if this is really how his lackluster career is going to end.

At first, it’s like there’s a void inside him, sucking out every happy thought Yuuri’s ever been able to muster up. Even thinking about Victor only makes him feel shame. He stares at the posters on his walls every day, and yet not even a single petal comes out. For a horrible moment, Yuuri fears he really has lost everything.

But then he watches Victor skate at Europeans. Even through the low-quality livestream, Yuuri is captivated. He gasps, and when he exhales, he suddenly finds his laptop screen showered with bright blue petals.

It’s sort of funny. Yuuri has never appreciated his particular affliction before, but suddenly he feels all the stronger for it. He still has this feeling inside him, _love,_ for Victor. He hasn’t lost his emotions, hasn’t lost his passion for skating, hasn’t lost anything _integral_ to who he is.

He’s sick of being depressed. He isn’t sure if he’ll ever compete again, considering that he’s already decided to part ways with Celestino and return to Hasetsu, but he isn’t going to stop skating. That, he’s sure of.

He practices Victor’s free skate every chance he gets. He pants out enough flowers to practically turn the rink into a garden, but it doesn’t seem like a burden this time. Instead, he’s reminded of his childhood, of how he and Yuuko would practice Victor’s programs together, blue roses springing into existence from their laughter.

Coming back home doesn’t feel like the failure he thought it would.

When he skates for Yuuko, it cements the resolve that’s been growing inside him. He isn’t ready to retire. He just can’t quit like this. He doesn’t know how he’s going to do it, with no coach and few prospects, but if there’s any way for him to continue competing, he’s going to do it.

He figures out how he’s going to do it pretty quick.

When Victor Nikiforov shows up at the onsen, Yuuri is so shocked that everything in him, even his hanahaki disease, momentarily freezes. This is the only thing that saves him from turning the hot springs into rose water.

“Yuuri!” Victor says, brandishing his hand out invitingly. He makes quite a scene, standing there like that, water droplets glistening off his powerful muscles, but the effect is somewhat lessened when he claps his other hand to his mouth as he clears his throat. “Starting today, I’m your coach! I’ll make you win the Grand Prix Final,” he continues with only a slight hoarseness to his voice.

Yuuri appreciates Victor’s dedication to the act, but he looks like he’s swallowing a lemon when he winks. Yuuri would be offended if it were anyone else, but with Victor… well, even if he’s just playing a joke on the weird Japanese skater whose attempt to skate “Stay Close To Me” went viral (thank _god_ the triplets cut it off before the part where he spits a perfectly formed rose into his hands; it’s bad enough knowing that Victor saw what he did), it’s still kind of a dream come true for Yuuri to have him here in his own home.

Yuuri can be forgiven for shrieking, right?

Except it turns out that Victor _isn’t_ joking; he really wants to coach Yuuri, for some reason.

And, in addition to this being the best thing to ever happen to Yuuri in his entire life, it also conveniently fixes the main problem hindering him from continuing to compete. It doesn’t take much effort to get Yuuri to say yes.

That being said, having Victor around is both exhilarating _and_ terrifying. Yuuri is so ridiculously happy that it would be hard to hide his feelings for Victor anyway, but with his hanahaki disease? It’s a constant struggle for Yuuri to keep the flowers to himself.

Victor himself does absolutely nothing to help curb Yuuri’s infatuation. 

“We should build some trust in this relationship,” Victor says silkily, and Yuuri is so unreasonably attracted to him in that moment that he has to eject himself from Victor’s grasp and fling himself to the nearest wall. He also has to cover his mouth with his hands and swallow an entire rose, but honestly, that’s just expected at this point. Victor is so surprised that he chokes on air, which is actually a lot more endearing than it should be. 

And as if that weren’t bad enough...

“Do you have any past lovers?” Victor asks, not for the first time. Yuuri doesn’t know why Victor is so obsessed with Yuuri’s lovers (who are nonexistent, of course; unless you consider the hanahaki flowers to be a sort of metaphorical lover), but Yuuri, as always, avoids the question. 

“Okay, then let’s talk about me—”Victor starts. A couple of golden petals fall from his lips, and suddenly Yuuri’s heart feels like it’s being burnt to ashes.

“No, no, no!” Yuuri insists, waving his arms frantically. He can’t bear to hear about someone that Victor is still in love with. Yuuri knows he’s just being weak, but if he sees Victor cough up a flower for somebody else, he thinks his heart might shatter.

Yuuri is lucky that he somehow manages to keep hiding his hanahaki disease from Victor. Unfortunately, with Yuri Plisetsky’s arrival, it becomes even harder to keep it hidden. While he still manages to keep it from Victor, Yurio catches him spitting out rose petals into the sink, and he’s furious about it.

“What the hell?” Yurio hisses. “Why did you pull that ‘katsudon is my eros’ shit when you’re sitting around making stupid flowers like this?”

(To tell the truth, Yuuri kind of wishes that he were in love with katsudon. Maybe he could cough up tasty pork cutlets instead of flowers then.)

“It’s…” Complicated. Not that easy. Terribly scary. “... really none of your business,” Yuuri says flatly.

“That’s crap and you know it,” Yurio argues. 

“Some things are personal, Yurio!” Yuuri insists. “This isn’t about skating, so you and Victor don’t need to bother with it, okay?”

“I can’t tell if you think I’m dumb or if _you’re_ just that dumb,” Yurio says, rolling his eyes. “But ugh, _whatever._ Be stupid forever, for all I care. Both of you are losers.”

Yuuri knows that Yurio was underestimating him from the start, but it’s still a relief when he beats the teenager in the Onsen on Ice competition. Yuuri has no right to Victor’s time, but oh, god, he wants it so much. He’s so, so happy that Victor is going to stay.

“Could you maybe chill?” Yurio asks irritably. “You smell like a damn perfume.”

Yuuri’s a little horrified, but Victor doesn’t seem to notice the scent when he pulls Yuuri into a hug, so he figures it can’t be too bad. 

As Yuuri slowly starts to flourish under Victor’s coaching, he also finds himself growing closer and closer to Victor as a person. What they are, exactly, can’t be easily defined. Their professional relationship definitely doesn’t encompass everything. Yuuri isn’t sure that there’s a label for what they are, but he’s content not to define it.

Victor, it seems, is not.

“What do you want me to be to you?” Victor asks, sounding a little too casual. Yuuri thinks he has some idea, now, about when Victor is putting on an act, and this… this isn’t the kind of things Victor says when he’s genuinely relaxed. Yuuri thinks. “A father figure? A brother? A friend?” 

When Yuuri rejects all of those, Victor smiles slightly.

“Then, your boyfriend, I guess?” he suggests, causing Yuuri to jump in surprise. “I can try my best—”

“No, no, no, no, no,” Yuuri says quickly. This is _dangerous_ territory. Of _course_ Yuuri would love to be Victor’s boyfriend, but not like this. Not because Victor is confused, or feels obligated, or… whatever it is he feels that’s causing him to raise back up the walls that he and Yuuri have been lowering over the past months.

“I just want you to stay who you are, Victor” Yuuri shouts. He wants to say more, to tell Victor just how much he means to him, but he can already sense the taste of rose on his tongue, and he knows if he doesn’t stop now, he won’t be able to keep his feelings hidden anymore. Instead, he looks Victor in the eye, and hopes he understands. 

Victor’s lips part, and a shower of golden petals falls to the ground.

(Selfishly, Yuuri hopes that they’re nasturtiums. Realistically, he knows there are plenty of flowers that come in that particular hue.)

“Okay,” is all Victor says, breathless, though his eyes, like Yuuri’s, seem to say more.

It’s not like their relationship changes that much after that (Yuuri hopes it’s because Victor was truly being honest with him from the start, and not because he’s continuing with a pretense too subtle for Yuuri to pick up on), but he does notice Victor staring at him more often. Golden petals wind up on the floor, on the ice, even in the baths, at an ever-increasing rate. Sometimes, when Yuuri is pressed close to Victor’s neck, he swears that Victor’s scent has become spicier.

Still, it isn’t until a drunken Victor hiccups two whole nasturtiums into Yuuri’s hands one night that Yuuri comes to terms with the idea that his long-unrequited feelings might not be so unrequited anymore.

“Have you ever had hanahaki disease, Yuuri?” Victor asks. When he laughs, more blossoms spill out. 

Part of Yuuri wants to kiss him right then and there. But he immediately realizes that he can’t. Even if Victor has flowers for him… has _feelings_ for him… it can’t happen like this. Victor is different, clingier, when he’s drunk, and Yuuri just isn’t sure that a sober Victor would want this. After all, he’s never said anything before. Having feelings for someone is one thing, but wanting to act on them is something else entirely.

“It’s late, Victor,” he says instead of answering the question. “We should both rest.”

He doesn’t notice the single blue petal come out of his mouth as he speaks. Indeed, he would never know it had fallen out at all if he hadn’t gotten up the next day to find Victor staring at it as if in deep thought.

“Ah, Yuuri,” Victor greets as soon as he spots him. “Good morning.”

There’s something like hope in his eyes. Yuuri smiles hesitantly, because he, too, feels something hopeful rise up in him.

“G-Good morning, Victor,” he says, and for the first time since April, he doesn’t bother to suppress the rose petals that flutter out with his breath.

Relief flickers in Victor’s expression for only a second, and then his face lights up with joy.

“Yuuri!” he exclaims. “You’ve caught it, too!”

“Uh… yes?” Yuuri murmurs, blushing. “You… You mean the world to me, Victor. I thought that much was obvious.”

Victor practically teleports to Yuuri’s side, and Yuuri lets himself fall into his arms.

When he leans up to press a kiss to Victor’s lips, it surprises the both of them. Yuuri would pull away in embarrassment were it not for Victor’s hands pressing against his back, pressing him closer into a deeper kiss.

His heart feels like it’s about to burst with happiness, and yet, for the first time in ages, Yuuri can’t sense even a hint of roses. In that moment, all he knows is _Victor._

**Author's Note:**

> I think it's pretty obvious why I chose blue roses to represent Victor, given that we see him with them in canon. I think they work rather well, seeing as they represent the extraordinary, the impossible, the unattainable. I also have a lot of feelings about the fact that they aren't natural; if you want roses as blue as the ones we see in the anime, you have to dye them or spraypaint them. In other words, they look beautiful, but you have to cover up what the rose really looks like underneath. I cry when I think about their association with Victor, and I almost wanted him to be represented by something else here (maybe a white rose) but... I don't know, I felt like it would throw people off if they read about him being represented by anything but blue roses.
> 
> Yuuri is represented by golden nasturtiums (and let me just tell you, these are my new favorite flower! They're so pretty! And they also apparently taste good, which is really fortunate for Victor, haha). Google tells me that nasturtiums represent victory in battle/conquest, and I thought that fit Yuuri very nicely. Life can seem like an endless barrage of battles when you have to deal with anxiety (and you're often your own enemy, to boot), but Yuuri is really such a strong person, working hard and never truly giving up, even when he makes mistakes (I have never felt more inspired by a character tbh). And I probably don't need to explain why I picked gold for the color, right? Yuuri IS gold <3


End file.
